I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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