Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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