help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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