Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize