i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I love you.
Bad choice
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
