One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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