its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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