im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
