he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
