using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize