Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize