bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
