we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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