she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
