Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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