we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
