Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
