You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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