Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
