She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
