I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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