so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
