Pants 0. Shit 1.
i love accidental penises.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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