laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Everclear isn't food dammit
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
