She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I believe in your delicious
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
