were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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