Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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