Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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