She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
