apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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