my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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