this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
