i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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