There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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