I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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