i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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