if only i could text you this smell
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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