I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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