Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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