Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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