Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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