Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
