if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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