Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I need a beard to bite.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
