these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
