I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
