I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
