the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
