Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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