11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
