do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
