Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We left the knife in your bed.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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