I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
