His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
