seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
