I CAN MOONWALK!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
