Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
