I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
