There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
