Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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