I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
